When are we really, truly, happy?!

We can have so much in our lives, great family, friends, good job, doing well in school, etc. But at the end of the day, when we look back on our lives are we truly happy? Do we have everything we need in our lives to be complete? Or are there things that still irritate us, that still tug on our heart strings, and that at times, can still bring a single tear to your eyes.
I have so many amazing things, great friends, amazing family, doing well in school, etc and there is only one person, that can give me that single tear, and that can tug on my heart strings. I don't know why this occurs. I don't want to be yours, i do not want a future of us, but it seems you know how to get that emotion rolling, and every time it leads to fights.
I came across this thing about "Should You Be Friends With Your Ex" Cause as much as id kill to have you in my life, and how much it would suck to not have you there, i need to understand what to do. It describes what happens when two people who were once in love try to be friends. You tell me nothing like these affect you, which idk if its true or your just hiding the truth or its something lying within your unconscious, but this is how its supposed to be.

It had four sections
One was the "Green Eyed Monster" Describing about how you feel jealous when the person you dated is with someoen else, goes out on a date, and its not that you want them, but you cannot help the emotions within your soul when that situation arises.
- I can look back on relationships and see that no matter what it still stung a bit when the person i was with, the person i loved, was with someone new. Even though i wanted nothing to do with them, even though they were not the man i wanted in my life. It still SHOULD hurt your heart when someone you gave your heart to, gives it to someone else.
Second was The Passion Is Still There.
- This one is completely obvious considering everything that has happened with us.
The third was Confiding Is Tough.
- I am happy to hear that you met someone, that she makes you happy and you dont have to deal with the hurt and pain from other girls. But hearing about the details kinda hurts. It hurts to see you be this AMAZING guy to her when i didnt get that. & i know i fall into this category because of my boy. And i am happy with him, he makes me feel amazing and never fails to put a smile on my face and wipe any sadness away. Everything is just different when it comes to you. . .
The fourth thing is Comfort Zone.
- You have always been the one person i was the most comfortable with. It was just easy to fall into things with you, no matter how much i didn't want to.

I just cant understand you and it intrigues the fuck out of me. I try to fit the pieces of your words to situations and wonder as to why things are the way they are, wonder what is going on in your mind, and it seems to just perplex me every time. I feel you still want me to feel hurt that whether you realize it or not, these situations happen, i feel comments, or fights are said to give me that little shot of pain, then just make it better later.

I just want it to go away. These thoughts, this pain, this bullshit. I would give anything to go back in time, to that one summer in the back of your truck, when we were legit friends, because i feel we will never, ever, get that back. =[