Recovering.

Spring break has been intense for me, finally got my surgery done, still recovering, hopefully the pain and everything will be gone in a few days to make it back to school and classes.

With that sad, the love life aspect? Well, it has also been a bit rough. I truly do not understand you anymore, or what i mean to you. The ups and downs have been wayyyyy to much. From the day of the surgery with a card and flowers from you, to fighting and pain the next two days, to beautiful romantic nights, to how things are now. It's all so much, in such a short amount of time. So now not only do i have to recover from a surgery, but i have to recover from us. To regain my happiness without you, regain my hope in relationships for the idea one day that i will find someone who is right for me. It's time for new beginnings to let go of all the baggage we have created within each other. Now, this is the point i make now, only because my thoughts before this moment were us working our way back up, but without word from you, and you letting me suffer, well it sums it up right there.

There are certain actions taken when you love someone, and they mean more then just the sweet words given. You can never just have one and expect them to mean everything, both are needed to prove that love. With you, it's never the both i feel, it's never the both i receive, it's always the words, the beautiful sweet words you speak to me, only to have me question your actions.

It's all a mess, along with my thoughts of this. My mind is as jumbled as the words typed up. All i know is what's in my heart, and it's my love for you. All i know is i cannot pretend this will be something beautiful again, all i know is i need to let you go.